Reflecting on Your Past

Reflections

Be as honest as possible with yourself while reflecting on your past relationship.
Ask yourself the following question in the suggested categories:
“Were my needs being met within the relationship?”

Fun

Did you laugh together?
Did you play together?
Did you and your partner share common interests?
Were your attitudes about religion, politics, and life, similar?
Did you and your partner share adventures together?
Did you discover new things together?
Did you tease each other?

Freedom

Did you feel independent?
Were you allowed to make your own decisions?
Did you feel a sense of freedom while you were with your partner?
Did you choose some of the activities that you shared?
Could you spend time with anyone you wanted to?
Did you feel that you had to “Report in” to your partner?
Were you encouraged to do things on your own?

Power and Recognition

Did your partner recognize your need for accomplishment?
Did your partner respect your opinions?
Did you feel important while you were with your partner?
Did your partner respect your skills and competence?
Did you share responsibilities for earning money?
Did you share household chores in a mutually agreed-upon way?
Did you make at least major decisions jointly?
When you were angry, did you: deal with it directly, hide it, or try to hurt each other?

Love and Belonging

Did you feel loved unconditionally?
Did you have a true sense of belonging and closeness in the relationship?
Did your partner care what happened to you?
Was your partner there for you in the “Bad Times” as well as the “Good Times”?
Did you share friendships?
Were you and your partner Best friends?

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